Pride comes before a fall. I shouldn't have been quite so chippy about tag clouds and html linking the other day, as I have just wasted aeons of time trying - and completely failing- to get any of the links I wanted onto the blog. It is a mystery to me. What am I doing wrong? A prissy, schoolmarmy sign keeps popping up saying "your html code is wrong, there is no closing code to match your opening code" - is she speaking ancient Aramaic? I have a horrible memory of the feeling I used to get at school a zillion years ago when I couldn't figure out what was going on in calculus and all explanations sounded like double dutch. However with age has come bloody mindedness, so I am determined that I will not be beaten.


READING: At the moment I seem to spend much of my time reading brochures for swanky shower units, sophisticated wash-hand basins, high-tech bathroom flooring and ceramic tiles. You guessed it, we are re-vamping our bathroom. Long overdue. So its lusting over bathroom porn for me right now. I must admit, I have been taken aback by some of the amazing systems that are available. Shower units which contain seating, massage bars, sound systems, flashy lighting, and even telephone connections (who would I ring when I was in the shower anyway?). Its another world.


RANT:
The heat goes on, dear reader, and despite the weathermen continually predicting massive thunderstorms, localised flooding, hail stones like pigeons eggs and so forth, not a drop of rain has come our way - and we have this bloody hosepipe ban.

You can:
Wash your car at a car wash
Fill a swimming pool, hot tub or pond
Hose down the cat or dog
Water a vegetable allotment with a hose
Hose down a caravan, trailer, motorcycle*
Clean the patio with a pressure washer or hose
Re-use wash water, ie from bath or washing machine
Fill all the watering cans you ever want to irrigate your lawn
Spray water into a concrete mixer

You can't:
Water private gardens with a sprinkler or hose
Wash a private car with a hosepipe at home
Leave a porous hose running under your hedge
Connect up drippers to water your patio plants
Water the vegetables in a household garden
Use a hose to water planted containers anywhere in the garden
Spray water into a planting hole with a hose

I am among the millions who are really p**sed off with Thames Water, huge profits, high charges, leaks everywhere and my garden is suffering.
There has been a leak in a street near ours for ten days or more, zillions of litres of water are trickling away, and has anyone come to fix it -despite me and umpteen other people having reported it - no they have not. Its NOT fair.


RECIPE: Another good recipe for when it's too hot to go near a stove, and you want a starter you can prep in advance. Everybody seems to love this and I have given the recipe to so many of my kid's friends - I think young people like it because it is "snacking" food which you can eat when sitting around doing nothing with a beer in one hand!

SMOKED MACKEREL PÂTÉ

Serves 6

4 smoked mackerel fillets
225g (8oz) cream cheese (eg Philadelphia)
4 Tablespoons lemon juice
Black pepper – freshly ground (don't add this if you have bought peppered mackerel fillets)
1 Tablespoon Worcestershire Sauce
1 clove garlic, skinned and finely chopped
1 Tablespoon finely chopped parsley

Remove the skin from the mackerel fillets, and any bones you can find, put into a food processor or blender, together with the cream cheese, lemon juice, plenty of black pepper, the Worcestershire Sauce, garlic and parsley (the parsley needs to be chopped first, otherwise it tends to remain in little clusters rather than get broken down finely).
If you don’t have a food processor or blender use a pestle and mortar.
Whiz or pound until you have a smooth mixture, then scoop the pâté into a serving dish and keep, covered in the fridge until required.
Serve with warm brown toast.
Freezes well.